In the this section you will learn about what Positive Coaching Alliance calls the "Emotional Tank" that each of us has. If you can give feedback to your athletes in a way that fills rather than drains their E-Tanks, they are likely to perform better. We recognize that you can't always give feedback or criticism privately; when you can, players are more likely to be able to hear it and embrace it.

 

Positive Coaching keeps players' Emotional Tanks FULLWhat do we mean by this? The Emotional Tank is like a gas tank.  Each of us has what we call an "Emotional Tank," which is similar to the gas tank in a car. If our tank is empty, we can't expect to drive across the country. If our tank is full, we can drive a long, long way.  We have found that kids relate to this idea quite well when we use the image of a car's gas tank and experience has shown that, when thought of in this way, most everyone has an innate sense of how full his or her own Emotional Tank is at any given point.

 

Players with full Emotional Tanks give Positive Coaches some distinct advantages. One of the great things about the Emotional Tank is that it can help make kids more coachable.  When players' Emotional Tanks are low, they tend to be pessimistic and give up more easily. When Tanks are full, players tend to be optimistic, deal better with adversity, and are more able to hear what you have to say and do what you ask without resistanceParents, coaches, and leagues that fill their players' Emotional Tanks tend to breed success.

 

Praise (truthful and specific), reinforcing positives, listening and nonverbal actions (nodding, clapping, smiling) are things that tend to fill tanks. The kinds of things that drain tanks are criticisms, corrections, ignoring and nonverbal actions (frowns).

It's important to be truthful and specific when filling tanks. Otherwise, your efforts can be taken as insincere. We as coaches are usually good at being truthful and specific drainers (giving criticism). We need to be as truthful and specific with praise as well.

 

Research from two quite different places indicates that there is an ideal ratio of positives to negatives. Whatever fills the Tank is a plus, and whatever empties it is a negative. Research suggests that 5:1 is the ideal ratio of positive to negative comments in a relationship or a sports team.Research done by John Gottman at the University of Washington looking at married couples uncovered what Gottman calls "The Magic Ratio." Gottman found that married couples with 5:1 (or higher) Plus/Minus ratios in their relationships tended to stay happily married. A lower Plus/Minus ratio was an indication that the relationship was in trouble and divorce likely.

 

Research by Robert and Evelyn Kirkhart in classrooms mirrored Gottman's findings. Children in the classroom thrived when the Plus/Minus ratio was 5:1, and as it sank to 2:1 or 1:1, the children's attitude was described as "despairing." Achieving a 5:1 ratio is not easy, especially since as coaches and parents we need to teach, correct, and criticize our young players if we want them to improve.We need to remember that the 5:1 ratio is six pieces of coaching, 5 reinforcements of things we want our players to keep doing and 1 correction!

 

Achieving a 5:1 ratio is not easy, especially since as coaches and parents we need to teach, correct, and criticize our young players if we want them to improve.

 

Giving criticism can be tricky business.

Here are some techniques that are effective:

 

Avoid non-teachable momentsIdentify the appropriate lesson for the appropriate time. For example, the ride home after a game where a player made a costly mistake is not the time to give technical instruction.

Identify the appropriate lesson for the appropriate time. For example, the ride home after a game where a player made a costly mistake is not the time to give technical instruction.

 

In PrivatePeople can hear criticism better in private than in front of a crowd. Take the player aside for personal feedback.

 

Ask PermissionBy asking a kid if he or she is open to a suggestion, it changes the dynamics and makes the criticism less of a minus. If the child says "no", honor that and come back later and ask again. It is likely that he or she will be curious about what you are going to say. For something that a child NEEDS to hear immediately (poor sportsmanship, safety issue etc.) this technique should not be used.

 

If-then StatementsThe way a coach gives directions to an athlete can make a huge difference in how receptive the athlete is to taking the direction. One way of stressing the information component is through use of "if-then" statements. Let's say you have a basketball player who is not getting enough leg into his outside shots. You could simply say, "You need to bend your knees more," - telling the player what to do. Often many players will not have a problem with this, but some will tend to resist being told what to do, especially if it happens a lot. On the other hand, you can stress the information piece with an if-then statement. "If you bend your knees more, then you'll get more range for your three-point shots." A subtle difference, but one that can keep an athlete in a receptive mode for criticism that will make her better.

The way a coach gives directions to an athlete can make a huge difference in how receptive the athlete is to taking the direction. One way of stressing the information component is through use of "if-then" statements. Let's say you have a basketball player who is not getting enough leg into his outside shots. You could simply say, "You need to bend your knees more," - telling the player what to do. Often many players will not have a problem with this, but some will tend to resist being told what to do, especially if it happens a lot. On the other hand, you can stress the information piece with an if-then statement. "If you bend your knees more, then you'll get more range for your three-point shots." A subtle difference, but one that can keep an athlete in a receptive mode for criticism that will make her better.

 

Criticism SandwichThis is a technique for commenting on performance. Sandwich the criticism with a compliment (truthful and specific) on both sides. The criticism is the meat or cheese, while the compliments are the bread. For example, "It was great the way you charged that ground ball. Next time, look to home plate to hold the runner before you throw to first. Keep throwing it just like you did - that was a bullet!"

 

Double Goal Coaching

January 2013

Rule Tip of the Month

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